A lot happens in two years. I had been wanting to make the move to LA for some time. So two years ago I shift down to LA from Santa Barbara. I stay in Lomita with my friend Mandy while I look for a job. I spend large chunks of time writing in the Rolling Hills Estates Public Library (a beautiful, comfortable space I miss terribly.) It is a time of uncertainty and stress, and often in my current time of uncertainty and stress, I look back on that time and…well, long for it.
And then I stumble across a journal entry like this one, written exactly two years ago today. I had been developing an idea I called God Chasers (or more jokingly, Apocalypso) about an investigator for the Catholic Church who debunks miracles, but who’s finding them harder and harder to explain in the face of what turns out to be an onrushing Apocalypse.
“It’s been a hell of a day. Forget the fact that I spent most of it crouched at Mandy’s sink, wrestling sweat, rancid water, a large pipe wrench and recalcitrant pipes, emitting weird, strangled curses and fighting the urge to put that pipe wrench through the nearest window. Forget that the night before was one of the worst in a long time, a night spent fighting the growth of a nasty, bitter panic, feeling pathetic and useless and afraid of death, solitary, agitated, and unable even to engage, thanks to a stubborn computer, the MST3K lullaby. And forget the world of uneasy, fragmented dreams when I finally drifted off that left me knotted and anxious about rising the next morning. Today was a hell of a day because I’ve just been informed that ABC is premiering a television series called “Miracles” starring Skeet Ulrich as a seminary student dispatched by the Vatican to debunk miracles… Now what the hell is going on here? Really, what is going on?? How the hell did this happen?
So, yeah. It�s been a hell of a day. But I’m at the library. Late today thanks to “Fun With Plumbing” but I have the evening open and available, John Digweed vortexing on the Rio Volt and a very tall ladder.
Um… the ladder is figurative, you see, so I can climb up? You know, out? Of this hell?
I have no recollection of this “MST3K lullaby.”