r.i.p. rodney

rodney dangerfield
“My wife’s a water sign, I’m an earth sign; together we make mud.”

“I mean, she’s attached to a machine that keeps her alive � the refrigerator.”

“The other night, she met me at the front door wearing a see-through negligee. The only trouble is she was coming home.”

“I’m so ugly, when I was a kid, my father bought a new billfold, and, instead of my picture, he carried the picture of the kid who came with the wallet.”

“I tell you, I don’t get no respect. When I step into an elevator, the attendant looks at me and says, ‘Basement?'”

“You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, ‘The car behind me is paying for two.'”

“I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

“My wife, let me tell you about my wife. She wants to have sex in the back seat of the car, but she wants me to drive.”

We’ll miss ya, Rodney. As my coworker Bradley writes on a little sign last night, “Maybe in heaven we’ll get to see Meet Wally Sparks 2.”

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