rain

Once again, the skies have opened up over Los Angeles. Seems to be getting an early start this year, and I was just getting into that tiny little bit of Fall.

And hey, speaking of Fall, does anyone remember seeing that movie Fall, by Eric Schaeffer? I love Eric Schaeffer. And I hate him. He’s got an ego the size of Nebraska. He writes dialogue very well, but he always gives himself the best lines and casts himself opposite assorted supermodels and always, always writes himself a good, kinky sex scene or two. In that way, he’s like Woody Allen, but without the self-effacement that makes Woody so good.

Schaeffer came in to Rocket Video one night when I was working. I’ve seen If Lucy Fell (which I liked), and Fall, and Wirey Spindell and even My Life’s In Turnaround, which I’d let someone show me again but only if they were fresh out of bamboo to shove under my fingernails. He’s got a cute blonde on his arm and he’s spread all of his own movies on the counter except Fall and he’s asking if we have it in stock, because he wants to show her one of his movies and he can’t seem to find that one. Fall, we don’t have, I tell him, because it’s out of print. I even tell him that I’d recently looked it up on eBay to see if we could get a replacement, but copies are going for $45 at the time because it’s so hard to find. And that’s not a lie.

“But wait,” I say, “Don’t YOU have these movies?”

“Yeah, I do,” he says, “At home in New York.”

“Well, don’t sweat it. Fall’s not the one she should see first time out. Go for If Lucy Fell.”

“Yeah, you think so?”

I think about how in Fall he brings the frigid character played by Amanda De Cadenet to orgasm by dry-humping her against his refrigerator [and only now, as I’m typing this, do I finally get that symbolism.] “You’re not as sexually intimidating in that one.”

“Good point.”

He checks out If Lucy Fell and heads out into the night, calling back a promise to bring us a copy of Fall the next time he comes through town. Yeah, right, I think. Like that’s gonna happen.

Then a couple seeks later we have a copy of Fall. Attached is a note. “From Eric.”

I can’t stand him. But I gotta love him.

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So anyway, yeah, it rained today.

About the author: will

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